Sabtu, 17 November 2018

Masa Remaja






        Remaja adalah suatu periode ketika seseorang mengalami transisi dari masa kanak – kanak menuju masa dewasa. Wajar saja bila itu bukan waktu yang mudah untuk dilalui. Para psikolog sering menyebut masa – masa tersebut sebagai fase storm and stress mengingat begitu banyaknya tekanan, baik dari luar maupun dari dalam tubuhnya sendiri, yang ,sebaya, banyaknya PR dan ulangan di sekolah, tuntutan orangtua dan guru, keinginan untuk berprestasi sekaligus beraktualisasi, mode yang harus dipilih untuk diikuti, ataupun pencarian identitas diri, semua itu harus terjadi justru di saat tubuhnya sedang sibuk dengan masalah pemasakan hormon dan mulai aktifnya fungsi organ – organ seksual.

            Tidak sedikit memang yang harus dihadapi remaja. Terkadang, patah hati membuatnya seperti disambar petir di siang hari. Remaja lain mengira dunia kiamat ketika mereka ditolak dari kelompok sebayanya. Sementara itu, remaja tetanggamu mengira hidupnya benar – benar hancur ketika ia gagal dalam pelajaran olahraga. Saya sendiri pernah merasa begitu tertekan dan memilih tidur seharian setelah sehari sebelumnya mengangkat tangan dengan penuh percaya diri untuk menjadi relawan menjawab soal – soal bahasa Inggris di depan kelas, tetapi ternyata saya salah menuliskan kata thirteen di papan tulis.

            Kadang – kadang, hal – hal yang kelihatannya sepele bagi orang dewasa memang bisa jadi merupakan sesuatu yang penting bagi remaja. Salah satu tugas perkembangan pada masa – masa remaja adalah menemukan identitas dirinya sendiri. Remaja yang berhasil menemukan identitas dirinya dengan jelas biasanya akan memiliki konsep diri yang jauh lebih positif dibandingkan mereka yang mengalami kebingungan akan identitasnya. Mereka menjadi lebih percaya diri, mudah bergaul, memiliki banyak teman, lebih santai, dan tidak tertekan saat menjalani keseharian mereka. Oleh karena itu, hal – hal sekecil apapun yang berkaitan dengan pembentukan konsep diri biasanya menjadi sangat penting. Peristiwa yang membuat malu, ejekan, olok – olok, atau penolakan bisa membuat mereka serasa hancur bak tertimpa meteor.

            Masa remaja adalah masa ketika egonya masih belum berkembang dengan sempurna dan justru di masa – masa itu ia harus berhadapan dengan begitu banyak hal baru yang kadang tampak menyenangkan baginya, tetapi juga terkadang menakutkan. Masa – masa itu adalah masa yang rentan dan begitu penting untuk perkembangan kepribadiannya di saat dewasa nanti. Hal itu dikarenakan perkembangan individu menganut prinsip life span development, yang berarti jika ada satu kendala pada satu fase kehidupan, baik itu fase kanak – kanak, remaja, atau dewasa, maka itu akan memengaruhi perkembangan seseorang di fase berikutnya.

            Masa remaja seperti masa ketika kupu – kupu – yang tadinya adalah seekor ulat – mencoba untuk pertama kalinya menyobek kepompong yang membungkus dirinya. Itu adalah waktu yang sangat penting di mana kupu – kupu melatih otot – otot sayapnya dengan menyobek selaput kepompongnya sendiri sehingga beberapa detik kemudian ia dapat terbang dengan sepasang sayap yang kuat. Masa itu adalah masa transisi, dari ulat menjadi kupu – kupu – dari anak – anak menuju kedewasaan.

            Perubahan – perubahan hormon yang terjadi di dalam tubuh pada masa remaja membuatnya terkadang merasa aneh terhadap dirinya sendiri. Suatu ketika ia menjadi begitu sesitif dan iritable sehingga semua orang dan hal – hal kecil membuatnya meledak tak terkendali. Pada lain waktu, tanpa alasan yang jelas ia menjadi blue feeling, murung seharian dan tidak ingin bicara dengan siapapun juga.

            Dengan begitu banyaknya tekanan yang ia alami, bukan suatu hal yang aneh jika tidak sedikit dari remaja terjebak dalam kebingunan yang luar biasa, merasa gagal, tidak berdaya dan tersedot kedalam arus kesedihan berlebihan yang akhirnya berkembang menjadi depresi.

            Padahal, semua keanehan yang sedang para remaja alami adalah suatu hal yang sepenuhnya WAJAR.

            Para remaja hanya perlu mengetahu apa yang sebenarnya sedang terjadi sehingga mereka tidak terjebak dalam rasa takut, frustasi, bingung dan akhirnya justru melangkahkan kaki mereka ke arah yang salah. Memperbanyak membaca buku yang bermanfaat, berbicara dengan orang yang lebih dewasa yang mengerti, psikolog, dokter, bahkan orangtua mereka sendiri (jika para orang tua mereka sedang tidak menjadi sumber konflik mereka), akan sangat membantu para remaja kita ini.

            Masalah – masalah psikologis sangat sering terjadi di masa – masa remaja. Menemui seorang psikolog atau psikiater untuk berkonsultasi bukan suatu hal yang menakutkan. Bukan berarti mereka gila atau menderita gangguan kejiwaan, tetapi itu berarti mereka mengambil langkah bijak untuk mendapatkan informasi dari sumber yang kompeten dalam bidangnya.

            Saya ingin mengajak para remaja menemukan kebahagiaan masa remaja mereka dengan cara yang lebih positif, dengan menjadi sosok remaja yang peduli terhadap orang lain, bermanfaat, percaya diri, suka membantu, dan bertanggung jawab.

            Depresi menjadi salah satu perhatian organisasi kesehatan dunia (WHO) karena merupakan penyakit mental masyarakat yang jumlahnya semakin lama semakin meningkat, kita bisa berperan serta untuk membantu mengupayakan kesehatan mental dunia dengan memberikan kontribusi apa saja sebisa kita. Cara yang paling terjangkau adalah dengan menyehatkan mental kita sendiri terlebih dahulu. Kita baru akan bisa membantu memenuhi kebutuhan orang lain jika kita sendiri sudah terpenuhi. Berperanlah sebagai asisten “dokter jiwa” di lingkungan sekitar kita dengan memberikan wacana tentang depresi kepada teman – teman dan orang – orang disekeliling kita!  

Johanes Baptista Adhi Samudro

Sabtu, 30 Desember 2017

CARE FOR LIFE AND ENVIRONMENT

Beloved friends,

Let me wish you all a Peaceful & Holy Christmas and all the blessings of New Year.

We had come to Christmas and Christmas speaks to us about a birth of a child and that is Jesus Christ, the Son of God who was born to redeem us but He became a man and was born like a baby. Like other baby who is born in this planet, God gave human life to Him in the form of His birth.

Now, what is important is when we celebrate Christmas it is essential to focus our attention on life and very specially on human life. For this reason let us welcome life in all its forms as part of the celebration of Christmas. Very specially let us love  our children and focus  our attention on our children as much as possible, because our children are the richness of our heritage. They will make this world.

Christmas reminds us that we have to love our children, protect our children, protect their rights and make them feel happy and welcome them in our midst; therefore, anything that we do to disrupt life in its initial stages or later on should be stopped. We must respect human life to the best of our ability. This will also be Christmas because if Mary & Joseph practiced selfishness, then they could have easily rejected this call of God for Jesus to be born among them. As parents let us love our children and let us make this Christmas a Christmas of happiness very specially for our children.

At the same time I would also like to appeal that Christmas be made a celebration without damaging and harming nature especially the practice of bringing Christmas trees. Cutting so many trees every year is harmful and it will damage our beautiful country and ecological balance. It is very important for us to preserve nature and also not to use too much of polythene or polythene products which will beautify our houses and our premises and then we will throw them away and they will accumulate as garbage and make it a human problem thereafter. We should not contribute to the pollution of our beautiful planet. Pollution is not Christmas.

I make an appeal very specially to all of you to desist from doing that and make Christmas more a matter of reflection and prayer and a moment of happiness which is shared with all the others, in the humblest possible form which is not offensive to others but which is positive and helpful to bring relationships together and make a peaceful atmosphere in our own villages and towns and make Christmas a celebration that is deeply spiritual.

Once again I wish you all a very happy Christmas and a happy New Year.

God bless you all!

Yogyakarta, 31'st of December 2017. (Johanes Baptista OMI)

Jumat, 29 Desember 2017

DIFFERENTLY BLESSED

Today upon a bus, I saw a lovely maid with golden hair;
I envied her - she seemed so gay - and wished I were as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle;
She had one foot and wore a crutch;
but as she passed, a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two feet - the world is mine.

And then I stopped to buy some sweets.
The lad who sold them had such charm,
I talked with him - he said to me;
"It's nice to talk with folks like you."
"You see" he said, "I'm blind!"
Oh God forgive me when I whine.
I have two eyes - the world is mine.

Then, walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue.
He stood & watched the others play;
It seemed he knew not what to do.  I stopped for a moment, then I said:
"Why don't you join the others dear?"
He looked ahead without a word,
and then I knew he could not hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;  I have two ears: the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go,
With eyes to see the sunset's glow,
With ears to hear what I would know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I'm blessed, indeed. The world is mine.

Yogyakarta, 28'th of December 2017

Selasa, 26 September 2017

Passing Thoughts on the Passing of Time

              In the midst of life we are in death. This is brought home to us when those known to us closely, pass away. Death is the only certainty in life.

            Today, there is the category of the aging population. A good percentage of the population is in this aging process and we continually hear of someone or other of this generation passing away. Undoubtedly they have lived their life; lived to a ripe old age, well pass the Biblical span of three score and ten and there should be no regrets. Nevertheless death inevitably leaves a heartache. Long – forgotten memories are awakened – nostalgic bitter – sweet memories. Bitter over the pain of parting and sweet for the fragrant, lingering memories left behind. Like the haunting strains that linger in the heart and mind long after the music is over – thankful for that music. We are never really parted so long as memories remain.

            Some of us encounter each other or one another, seasonally, periodically, after a lapse of time and on such memorable occasions the profound topic of death, invariably creeps into conversation, as all are necessarily in the departure lounge awaiting the great flight. Very often the parting words are “See you again God willing”. On one such occasion in the not too distant past a parting remark directed as me was “I wonder if and when we’ll meet again.” I was reminded of Bard’s quote “If we should meet again we shall but smile; if not this. Parting was well made” and it did after all turn out to be portentous. I am thankful however that quite unwittingly I made the parting in anticipation.

            How come we do not appreciate or at least show any recognition, sometimes even to the point of ignoring when people are alive but are haunted by memories when they are dead. This is the way of the world. The rush and fret and the fever of life leave us no time for such compliments or so we think.

            What is this life is full of care

            We have no time to stand and stare

            Little cherished incidents suddenly crop up from somewhere in the sub-conscious; they surface only then when people are dead. This leaves much food for thoughts and digestion.

            So this is the inevitable transience of life. But through it all permeates the promise of the Lord. “I am the Resurrection and the Life” and the words of Donne echo “Death where is thy sting? Death where is thy victory?” for the Lord has promised eternal life in the portals of the Lord for those who believe in Him.

Kamis, 14 September 2017

Does Jealousy Block Our Happiness?

Almost everybody has it but nobody likes it. But unfortunately it is seen in most human beings in varying degrees. Its called the green-eyed monster ... 'jealousy'.

If no one wants it and if it is destructive why do people cherish it? May be because they do not know the harm it does, why and how it starts and how to eradicate it.  Do we think we too may have it? If the answer is 'no', great! We will be blessed with peace of mind.  If we are an unfortunate soul filled with jealousy, try to shed it and be free. It is rewarding.

Why do we experience jealousy? Jealousy is simply a combination of selfishness and lack of self confidence. As long as we have a generous heart and self confidence, we will have no feelings of jealousy at all. When we are not secure, when we are not confident about our abilities, our potential and our skills, we become jealous. We are scared of being replaced. "If I cannot have it, you can't have it!" is the basic theme of a jealous person. Others may have many riches,  talents, opportunities. So what? Why should we have what all the others have? It is not necessary. It is not what they have that burn us, but our heart. Our thoughts. We should learn to change the way we think,the way we feel and act. Breaking free from jealousy starts with our thoughts.

Understanding our own worth is the best and probably the fastest and surest way. Each one of us is unique. Believe and enjoy that thought. Feel it and be confident about the fact that we are special. We do not lose anything by being happy about others' happiness. Our happiness comes when we are a blessing to them. A jealous person cannot be blessing.

Secondly, comparison gives way to jealousy. We always try to compare ourselves with others and try to do better. This competitive attitude is destructive and makes us bitter, not better. People who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others. When competition, comparison and feeling of inadequacy are combined, it is a negative force. When we see someone excelling at something or threatening, we become jealous. Stop comparing ourselves to other people. We are unique and we do not have to compete and defeat anyone to be a winner. Be happy that we have qualities that others do not have and try to be a blessing to someone else. We experience happiness only when we are a blessing to someone else. God has given us so many wonderful gifts that many other people do not have. Focus on using those gifts to help someone else.

Learn this art soon. Do not delay. Otherwise, whenever someone gets something that we wanted, we will feel insecure and jealous, and we will be continously unhappy and disturbed. If we are confident about ourselves and if we have a good heart there will be no jealousy in us.

Rabu, 13 September 2017

By The Side of The Suffering

A Mysterious Paralysis

When 14 year old Shane Roof told his dad Darrel Roof that he was not feeling well as they both mowed the lawn before a family cookout for Mother's Day at their home in Louisville, Kentucky, he did not think anything of it, recounts Caitlin Keating.

"I told him to go into the house and lay down," Darrel says of the incident. "When I walked in about  an hour later he said his leg was feeling funny."

Not even three hours later, Shane, a straight - A athlete who had no prior medical history and was looking forward to his upcoming 8th grade graduation, would be rushed to Norton's Children Hospital after those mild symptoms quickly took a turn for the worst: A mysterious paralysis.

Endless unknowns

At the hospital, Shane was struggling to breathe and move his body. After ruling out a tick bite or lyme disease, he was diagnosed with a spinal cord infarction, which is an interruption to the blood supply in the spinal cord. The infarction was the result of either a viral attack or stroke.

While he continues to regain more and more movement in his lower extremities, they are still at a loss over what happened.

"The prognosis is unclear and we expect a challenging road to recovery", says Dr. Montgomerry.

Darrel, 40, says they are struck in a gray area, but they are trying to remain hopeful. "We have our ups and downs because we sometimes get those bad thoughts," he says. "What if he doesn't recover from this? What the future for him?"

We want him back. They cannot give us any answers. There is no set plan. We just have unknowns, but Shane is so strong. According to his mom, Alexandra Roof, Shane is now able to move his right leg and toes, right wrist and fingers and will hopefully be moving to the Frazier Rehab Institute in Kentucky in the next week or two.

He also has a cuffed tracheostomy that blocks his vocal cords. When his lungs get stronger, they will switch it out for a speaking valve, but for now, they are forced to lip read. When they cannot understand what he is saying, Darrel made a headband with a laser light so Shane can spell out a word from a poster board that has the alphabet written on it.

"It's so hard as a parent to see our child in pain and not be able to comfort him," she says. "We are moving forward, which is a good thing. We continue to remain positive and help him stay strong."

Pushing Forward

Darrel & Alexandra have spent everyday with Shane at the hospital and sleep in his hospital room each night. "We have had an unbelievable amount of friends and family supporting us," he says. "We want to be here and we want to be comforting for our son."

It also helps Shane's parents to see how strong he has been through the entire ordeal. "Shane is amazingly tough. He has expressed to us that he wants to go home," says Darrel. "I think he understands and is staying optimistic. He is taking it really well. He is super strong willed and loving." This case is but one of the many unresolved enigmatic ailments.

The Why of Suffering

It sounds mysterious, but God is always on the side of the suffering. In the local scene, garbage dump disaster and floods left many people suffering in its wake. Hundred of families lost  their loved ones. Others have been displaced from their homes. Then came the dengue epidemic. In the face of all these, we may be wondering about the why of such human sufferings?

The chain of whys and wherefores  will be interminable,  unless we turn our gaze to Christ crucified. The final answer is found in Jesus Christ who "emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form He humbled Himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross". (Phil 2: 7 - 8)

Why did Jesus suffer so much bloody tortures as He went through His Passion and Death on Calvary? What evil has He done to deserve all these?

Suffering was transformed by God into a means of redemption. It would be the instrument by which God will show His almighty love and power. He will lay down His life for our sake and will take it up again.

Jesus' omnipotence is manifested precisely in the fact that He freely accepted suffering. He could have chosen not to do so. He could have chosen to demonstrate His omnipotence even at the crucifixion. In fact, it was proposed to Him: "Let the Messiah, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe." (Mrk 15 : 32)

But He did not accept that challenge. The fact that He stayed on the cross until the end, the fact  that on the Cross He could say, as do all who suffer: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mk 15:34), has remained in human history the strongest argument. If the agony on the Cross had not happened, the truth that God is love would have been unfounded.

Yes! God is love & precisely for this He gave His son, to reveal Himself completely as Love. Christ is the One who "loved to the end" (Jn 13:1).  "To the end" means to the last breath. "To the end"means accepting all the consequences of man's sin,  taking it upon Himself.

All these happened exactly as Prophet Isaiah affirmed: " It was our infirmities that he bore. We had all gone astray like sheep, each following his own way. But the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all." (Is 53: 4 - 6).

Suffering Servant of Yahweh

That mysterious "Suffering Servant of Yahweh" in the book of Isaiah is Jesus. The "Man of Suffering" is the revelation of that Love which "endures all things" (1 Cor 13: 7), of that Love which is the "greatest" (Verse 13). It is the revelation not only that God is love but also the One who "pours out love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit" (Rom 5:5).

In the end, before Christ Crucified, the man who shares in redemption will have the advantage over the man who sets himself up as an unbending judge of God's actions in his own life as well as in that of all humanity.

Thus we find ourselves at the centre of the history of salvation. The judgement of God becomes a judgment of man. The divine realm and the human realm of this event meet, cross and overlap.

Christianity is a religion of salvation. It is a soteriological religion, to use the theological term. In the New Testament the Greek, word Soteria means rescue or safety whether physically or morally, deliver, save, health.

Christian soteriology focuses on the Paschal Mystery. In order to hope for salvation from God, man must stop beneath Christ's Cross. Then, the Sunday after the Holy Sabbath, he must stand in front of the empty tomb and listen, like the women of Jerusalem: "He is not here, for He has been raised" (Mt. 28:6)

Contained within the Cross and the Resurrection is the certainty that God saves man, that He saves him through Christ, through His Cross and His Resurrection.

Thus, when we choose to identify ourselves with the suffering of Jesus in His Passion and Death on the Cross, we find meaning in our sufferings, trials, ailments, etc. God transforms them and grants them redeeming value.

Senin, 04 September 2017

Please, Lord, even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters.

Prophet Isaiah proclaims the goodness of the Lord. He wants all to be faithful and obedient to the covenant and thereby live a righteous life. God will take to His kingdom those who live a good and a dedicated life.

St. Paul preaching to the Jews wants them to turn to the Lord so that the other Jews who look at them too would come back to the Lord. He speaks of their rejection and their disobedience which brought about the salvation of mankind.

Jesus is moved by the faith of the Canaanite woman and cures her daughter, thus proving that salvation is not only for the Jews but also for the Gentiles.

The Jews at first were of the opinion that they were an exclusive race because they were named the chosen race; the Promised Land was theirs. Besides the patriachs, prophets and kings are from among them and lastly the Saviour too was to come from among them. So the Jews thought that salvation, God  and the kingdom of God, heaven...etc, were only for them. But today we are showed that salvation is not only for the Jews but also for the Gentiles. Being a Jew alone will not save us but being  faithful to God and being good will save us. There are certain divine standards that are expected of us to be saved. That could be observed both, by the Jews as well as the Gentiles. Therefore, whoever remains  faithful will be saved.

Prophet Isaiah announces to the people the message of the Lord: that God would save us all those who lead righteous lives. Even the foreigners, who serve the Lord with dedication, observe the Sabbath and hold fast to His covenant will be saved. He will bring them to the Holy Mountain and make them joyful in His house of prayer and their offering would be accepted at His altar. For His house shall be called a house of prayer for all people.

St. Paul ministers to the Gentiles so that through shame at least the Jews would turn to the Lord and be saved. He wants them to be faithful and obedient. He recalls their disobedience, which brought about their salvation and imagines what faithfulness and obedience could bring.

It is not a Jewish woman but rather a Canaanite woman who came to Jesus begging  him to cure her possessed daughter. Here He makes it clear that His ministry is for Jews only but is moved by the faith that was shown by this Canaanite woman. It is not the bother of this Canaanite woman; not the request of the Apostles that made Jesus perform that miracle but rather  it was the tremendous faith that was shown by the Canaanite woman which moved Him to save her.

Therefore whether Jews or not, let us turn to the Lord in faith and He will do the needful for us so that we would be with Him in the kingdom of God.